Kourtney Kardashian recently launched her very own brand, Poosh — just in time for her 40th birthday.
That's right. As of Thursday, Kourtney turned 40 years old, and her family wasn't about to let her forget it.
Family and friends shared their wildest memories of Kourtney in a Poosh video, and some of these are bonkers. Others … explain a lot.
"One of the craziest stories I remember about Kourtney was when she was 2-year-old," Kris reveals.
Speaking of Kourtney, Kris says: "she fell asleep on the school bus, going to school."
At two years old? Even if Kris is referring to preschool, we've seen plenty of millionaires personally drop off their kids at preschool.
"And," Kris continues. "The bus driver didn’t see her sleeping on the bench because she was so tiny and petite"
We get that Kourtney has always been teeny-tiny, but hat kind of rich people preschool was this?
Maybe it's normal to put two-year-olds on a bus by themselves in Calabasas. Anyway, the story goes on:
"And the bus driver dropped off all of the kids," Kris says, noting that "Kourtney was still sleeping."
"He locked up the bus and went out to breakfast," Kris reveals.
"And that," Kris understates. "Was pretty traumatizing."
Yes, we would imagine so.
"Happy birthday, Kourtney. I can’t believe you’re 40-years-old," Kris raves.
"The time goes by so quickly," she observes. "And in a blink of an eye, you’re 40!"
"I promised you I wouldn’t cry on your birthday — at your party — and I’m going to try not to cry now," Kris promises.
"I just want you to know you’re the love of my life," she affirms. "You are my little soulmate and my first born."
"And I love you more than you’ll ever imagine,” Kris gushes. “Happy birthday and I wish you [all the] happiness and God Bless. I love you!"
"My wildest memory of Kourtney is probably just when we were younger," Kendall begins.
"She would babysit Kylie and I all the time," she recalls. "And pick us up in her white BMW and she would drive so fast."
Remember, there's a 16-and-a-half year age difference between Kourtney and Kendall.
"And she would take us to her house," Kendall continues. "Where her and her boyfriend lived."
"She would just make us junk food all day long," Kendall continues. "And let us play video games."
"We loved her for it," she remarks.
We would imagine so! Spoiling kids is one of the benefits of being an adult but not the primary caregiver.
"Kylie and I looked up to her so much," Kendall gushes.
"And," she concludes. "I just always aspired to be as funny and outgoing as she was."
Kylie says that her favorite memory of Kourtney involves the two of them arguing about Tinkerbell pajamas that Kylie wanted.
Kourtney was a full-on adult when Kylie was born, so this is goofy.
Maybe they don't have that many memories because of the age gap, which is sad, but Kylie's story is just … kind of dull. No shade.
Khloe teases that she has no shortage of wild, sordid tales to share about Kourtney.
She also says that, because she's such a good sister, she won't horrify Kourtney by tainting her Poosh brand with them.
(Notably, a number of Kourt's friends say similar things about keeping quiet about her wild times — a great way to boost someone's rep)
Kim's stories are all about being relentlessly bullied by her older sister.
"I just remember having the saddest memories," Kim says. "Because Kourtney was so mean to me all the time,”
“She was always finding a way to pick on me or pick on me," Kim complains.
"A funny little example is when we were in Palm Springs …" Kim begins, explaining that they would visit their grandparents there.
Kim accuses Kourt of having recruited all of her friends to spend time with her, not Kim, and even try to humiliate her in front of her peers.
"She would take, like, grapefruit and oranges," Kim accuses. "And throw them at me and try to get me to fall."
Happy birthday, Kourtney!